William Shakespeare - The Complete Works

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MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING Act 5 Scene 1 (Enter Leonato and Antonio his brother) l1l Antonio If you go on thus, you will kill yourself, l2l And Ætis not wisdom thus to second grief l3l Against yourself. Leonato I pray thee cease thy counsel, l4l Which falls into mine ears as profitless l5l As water in a sieve. Give not me counsel, l6l Nor let no comforter delight mine ear l7l But such a one whose wrongs do suit with mine. l8l Bring me a father that so loved his child, l9l Whose joy of her is overwhelmed like mine, l10l And bid him speak of patience. l11l Measure his woe the length and breadth of mine, l12l And let it answer every strain for strain, l13l As thus for thus, and such a grief for such, l14l In every lineament, branch, shape, and form. l15l If such a one will smile and stroke his beard, l16l Bid sorrow wag, cry ôhemö when he should groan, l17l Patch grief with proverbs, make misfortune drunk l18l With candle-wasters, bring him yet to me, l19l And I of him will gather patience. l20l But there is no such man, for, brother, men l21l Can counsel and speak comfort to that grief l22l Which they themselves not feel, but tasting it l23l Their counsel turns to passion, which before l24l Would give preceptial medicine to rage, l25l Fetter strong madness in a silken thread, l26l Charm ache with air and agony with words. l27l No, no, Ætis all menÆs office to speak patience l28l To those that wring under the load of sorrow, l29l But no manÆs virtue nor sufficiency l30l To be so moral when he shall endure l31l The like himself. Therefore give me no counsel. l32l My griefs cry louder than advertisement. l33l Antonio Therein do men from children nothing differ. l34l Leonato I pray thee peace, I will be flesh and blood, l35l For there was never yet philosopher l36l That could endure the toothache patiently, l37l However they have writ the style of gods, l38l And made a pish at chance and sufferance. l39l Antonio Yet bend not all the harm upon yourself. l40l Make those that do offend you suffer, too. l41l Leonato There thou speakÆst reason, nay I will do so. l42l My soul doth tell me Hero is belied, l43l And that shall Claudio know, so shall the Prince, l44l And all of them that thus dishonour her. (Enter Don Pedro the Prince and Claudio) l45l Antonio Here comes the Prince and Claudio hastily. l46l Don Pedro Good eÆen, good eÆen. Claudio Good day to both of you. l47l Leonato Hear you, my lords? Don Pedro We have some haste, Leonato. l48l Leonato Some haste, my lord! Well, fare you well, my lord. l49l Are you so hasty now? Well, all is one. l50l Don Pedro Nay, do not quarrel with us, good old man. l51l Antonio If he could right himself with quarrelling, l52l Some of us would lie low. Claudio Who wrongs him? l53l Leonato Marry, thou dost wrong me, thou dissembler, thou. l54l Nay, never lay thy hand upon thy sword, l55l I fear thee not. Claudio Marry, beshrew my hand l56l If it should give your age such cause of fear. l57l In faith, my hand meant nothing to my sword. l58l Leonato Tush, tush, man, never fleer and jest at me. l59l I speak not like a dotard nor a fool, l60l As under privilege of age to brag l61l What I have done being young, or what would do l62l Were I not old. Know Claudio to thy head, l63l Thou hast so wronged mine innocent child and me l64l That I am forced to lay my reverence by l65l And with grey hairs and bruise of many days l66l Do challenge thee to trial of a man. l67l I say thou hast belied mine innocent child. l68l Thy slander hath gone through and through her heart, l69l And she lies buried with her ancestors, l70l O, in a tomb where never scandal slept l71l Save this of hers, framed by thy villainy. l72l Claudio My villainy? Leonato Thine, Claudio, thine I say. l73l Don Pedro You say not right, old man. Leonato My lord, my lord, l74l IÆll prove it on his body if he dare, l75l Despite his nice fence and his active practice, l76l His May of youth and bloom of lustihood. l77l Claudio Away, I will not have to do with you. l78l Leonato Canst thou so doff me? Thou hast killed my child. l79l If thou killÆst me, boy, thou shalt kill a man. l80l Antonio He shall kill two of us, and men indeed. l81l But thatÆs no matter, let him kill one first. l82l Win me and wear me. Let him answer me. l83l Come follow me boy, come sir boy, come follow me, l84l Sir boy, IÆll whip you from your foining fence. l85l Nay, as I am a gentleman, I will. l86l Leonato Brother. l87l Antonio Content yourself. God knows, I loved my niece, l88l And she is dead, slandered to death by villains l89l That dare as well answer a man indeed l90l As I dare take a serpent by the tongue. l91l Boys, apes, braggarts, jacks, milksops! l92l Leonato Brother Antonyù l93l Antonio Hold you content. What, man, I know them, yea l94l And what they weigh, even to the utmost scruple. l95l Scambling, outfacing, fashion-monging boys, l96l That lie, and cog, and flout, deprave, and slander, l97l Go anticly, and show an outward hideousness, l98l And speak off half a dozen dangerous words, l99l How they might hurt their enemies, if they durst, l100l And this is all. l101l Leonato But brother Antonyù l102l Antonio Come, Ætis no matter, l103l Do not you meddle, let me deal in this. l104l Don Pedro Gentlemen both, we will not wake your patience. l105l My heart is sorry for your daughterÆs death, l106l But on my honour she was charged with nothing l107l But what was true and very full of proof. l108l Leonato My lord, my lordù Don Pedro I will not hear you. l109l Leonato No? Come brother, away. I will be heard. l110l Antonio And shall, or some of us will smart for it. (Exeunt Leonato and Antonio) l111l (Enter Benedick) Don Pedro See, see, here comes the man we went to seek. l112l Claudio Now signor, what news? l113l Benedick (to Don Pedro) Good day, my lord. l114l Don Pedro Welcome, signor. You are almost come to part l115l almost a fray. l116l Claudio We had liked to have had our two noses snapped l117l off with two old men without teeth. l118l Don Pedro Leonato and his brother. What thinkest thou? l119l Had we fought, I doubt we should have been too young l120l for them. l121l Benedick In a false quarrel there is no true valour. I came l122l to seek you both. l123l Claudio We have been up and down to seek thee, for we l124l are high-proof melancholy and would fain have it l125l beaten away. Wilt thou use thy wit? l126l Benedick It is in my scabbard. Shall I draw it? l127l Don Pedro Dost thou wear thy wit by thy side? l128l Claudio Never any did so, though very many have been l129l beside their wit. I will bid thee draw as we do the l130l minstrels, draw to pleasure us. l131l Don Pedro As I am an honest man he looks pale. Art l132l thou sick, or angry? l133l Claudio What, courage, man. What though care killed l134l a cat, thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill care. l135l Benedick Sir, I shall meet your wit in the career an you l136l charge it against me. I pray you choose another subject. l137l Claudio Nay then, give him another staff. This last was l138l broke cross. l139l Don Pedro By this light, he changes more and more. I l140l think he be angry indeed. l141l Claudio If he be, he knows how to turn his girdle. l142l Benedick (aside to Claudio) Shall I speak a word in your l143l ear? l144l Claudio God bless me from a challenge. l145l Benedick You are a villain. I jest not. I will make it good l146l how you dare, with what you dare, and when you l147l dare. Do me right, or I will protest your cowardice. l148l You have killed a sweet lady, and her death shall fall l149l heavy on you. Let me hear from you. l150l Claudio Well, I will meet you, so I may have good cheer. l151l Don Pedro What, a feast, a feast? l152l Claudio IÆ faith, I thank him, he hath bid me to a calfÆs l153l head and a capon, the which if I do not carve most l154l curiously, say my knifeÆs naught. Shall I not find a l155l woodcock too? l156l Benedick Sir, your wit ambles well, it goes easily. l157l Don Pedro IÆll tell thee how Beatrice praised thy wit the l158l other day. I said thou hadst a fine wit. ôTrue,ö said she, l159l ôa fine little one.ö ôNo,ö said I, ôa great wit.ö ôRight,ö l160l says she, ôa great gross one.ö ôNay,ö said I, ôa good wit.ö l161l ôJust,ö said she, ôit hurts nobody.ö ôNay,ö said I, ôthe l162l gentleman is wise.ö ôCertainö said she, ôa wise l163l gentleman. ôNay,ö said I, ôhe hath the tongues.ö ôThat I l164l believe,ö said she, ôfor he swore a thing to me on l165l Monday night which he forswore on Tuesday morning. l166l ThereÆs a double tongue, thereÆs two tongues.ö Thus l167l did she an hour together trans-shape thy particular l168l virtues, yet at last she concluded with a sigh thou wast l169l the properest man in Italy. l170l Claudio For the which she wept heartily and said she l171l cared not. l172l Don Pedro Yea, that she did. But yet for all that, an if l173l she did not hate him deadly she would love him dearly. l174l The old manÆs daughter told us all. l175l Claudio All, all. And moreover, God saw him when he l176l was hid in the garden. l177l Don Pedro But when shall we set the savage bullÆs horns l178l on the sensible BenedickÆs head? l179l Claudio Yea, and text underneath, ôHere dwells Benedick l180l the married manö. l181l Benedick Fare you well, boy, you know my mind. I will l182l leave you now to your gossip-like humour. You break l183l jests as braggarts do their blades which, God be l184l thanked, hurt not. (To Don Pedro) My lord, for your l185l many courtesies I thank you. I must discontinue your l186l company. Your brother the bastard is fled from Messina. l187l You have among you killed a sweet and innocent lady. l188l For my lord Lackbeard there, he and I shall meet, and l189l till then, peace be with him. (Exit) l190l Don Pedro He is in earnest. l191l Claudio In most profound earnest, and, IÆll warrant you, l192l for the love of Beatrice. l193l Don Pedro And hath challenged thee. l194l Claudio Most sincerely. l195l Don Pedro What a pretty thing man is when he goes in l196l his doublet and hose and leaves off his wit! (Enter Dogberry and Verges the constables, the Watch, Conrad, and Borachio) l197l Claudio He is then a giant to an ape. But then is an ape l198l a doctor to such a man. l199l Don Pedro But soft you, let me be. Pluck up, my heart, l200l and be sad. Did he not say my brother was fled? l201l Dogberry Come you sir, if justice cannot tame you, she l202l shall neÆer weigh more reasons in her balance. Nay, an l203l you be a cursing hypocrite once, you must be looked to. l204l Don Pedro How now, two of my brotherÆs men bound? l205l Borachio one. l206l Claudio Hearken after their offence, my lord. l207l Don Pedro Officers, what offence have these men done? l208l Dogberry Marry, sir, they have committed false report, l209l moreover they have spoken untruths, secondarily they l210l are slanders, sixth and lastly they have belied a lady, l211l thirdly they have verified unjust things, and to l212l conclude, they are lying knaves. l213l Don Pedro First I ask thee what they have done, thirdly l214l I ask thee whatÆs their offence, sixth and lastly why l215l they are committed, and to conclude, what you lay to l216l their charge. l217l Claudio Rightly reasoned, and in his own division. And l218l by my troth thereÆs one meaning well suited. l219l Don Pedro (to Conrad and Borachio) Who have you l220l offended, masters, that you are thus bound to your l221l answer? This learned constable is too cunning to be l222l understood. WhatÆs your offence? l223l Borachio Sweet Prince, let me go no farther to mine l224l answer. Do you hear me, and let this Count kill me. I l225l have deceived even your very eyes. What your wisdoms l226l could not discover, these shallow fools have brought l227l to light, who in the night overheard me confessing to l228l this man how Don John your brother incensed me to l229l slander the Lady Hero, how you were brought into the l230l orchard and saw me court Margaret in HeroÆs garments, l231l how you disgraced her when you should marry her. l232l My villainy they have upon record, which I had rather l233l seal with my death than repeat over to my shame. The l234l lady is dead upon mine and my masterÆs false l235l accusation, and briefly, I desire nothing but the reward l236l of a villain. l237l Don Pedro (to Claudio) Runs not this speech like iron through your blood? l238l Claudio I have drunk poison whiles he uttered it. l239l Don Pedro (to Borachio) But did my brother set thee on to this? l240l Borachio Yea, and paid me richly for the practice of it. l241l Don Pedro He is composed and framed of treachery, l242l And fled he is upon this villainy. l243l Claudio Sweet Hero, now thy image doth appear l244l In the rare semblance that I loved it first. l245l Dogberry Come, bring away the plaintiffs. By this time l246l our Sexton hath reformed Signor Leonato of the matter. l247l And masters, do not forget to specify, when time and l248l place shall serve, that I am an ass. l249l Verges Here, here comes Master Signor Leonato, and the l250l Sexton, too. (Enter Leonato, Antonio his brother, and the Sexton) l251l Leonato Which is the villain? Let me see his eyes, l252l That when I note another man like him l253l I may avoid him. Which of these is he? l254l Borachio If you would know your wronger, look on me. l255l Leonato Art thou the slave that with thy breath hast killed l256l Mine innocent child? Borachio Yea, even I alone. l257l Leonato No, not so, villain, thou beliest thyself. l258l Here stand a pair of honourable men. l259l A third is fled that had a hand in it. l260l I thank you, Princes, for my daughterÆs death. l261l Record it with your high and worthy deeds. l262l ÆTwas bravely done, if you bethink you of it. l263l Claudio I know not how to pray your patience, l264l Yet I must speak. Choose your revenge yourself, l265l Impose me to what penance your invention l266l Can lay upon my sin. Yet sinned I not l267l But in mistaking. Don Pedro By my soul, nor I, l268l And yet to satisfy this good old man l269l I would bend under any heavy weight l270l That heÆll enjoin me to. l271l Leonato I cannot bid you bid my daughter liveù l272l That were impossibleùbut I pray you both l273l Possess the people in Messina here l274l How innocent she died, and if your love l275l Can labour aught in sad invention, l276l Hang her an epitaph upon her tomb l277l And sing it to her bones, sing it tonight. l278l Tomorrow morning come you to my house, l279l And since you could not be my son-in-law, l280l Be yet my nephew. My brother hath a daughter, l281l Almost the copy of my child thatÆs dead, l282l And she alone is heir to both of us. l283l Give her the right you should have givÆn her cousin, l284l And so dies my revenge. Claudio O noble sir! l285l Your overkindness doth wring tears from me. l286l I do embrace your offer; and dispose l287l For henceforth of poor Claudio. l288l Leonato Tomorrow then I will expect your coming. l289l Tonight I take my leave. This naughty man l290l Shall face to face be brought to Margaret, l291l Who I believe was packed in all this wrong, l292l Hired to it by your brother. Borachio No, by my soul, she was not, l293l Nor knew not what she did when she spoke to me, l294l But always hath been just and virtuous l295l In anything that I do know by her. l296l Dogberry (to Leonato) Moreover, sir, which indeed is not l297l under white and black, this plaintiff here, the offender, l298l did call me ass. I beseech you let it be remembered in l299l his punishment. And also the watch heard them talk l300l of one Deformed. They say he wears a key in his ear l301l and a lock hanging by it, and borrows money in GodÆs l302l name, the which he hath used so long and never paid l303l that now men grow hard-hearted and will lend nothing l304l for GodÆs sake. Pray you examine him upon that point. l305l Leonato I thank thee for thy care and honest pains. l306l Dogberry Your worship speaks like a most thankful and l307l reverend youth, and I praise God for you. l308l Leonato (giving him money) ThereÆs for thy pains. l309l Dogberry God save the foundation. l310l Leonato Go. I discharge thee of thy prisoner, and I thank l311l thee. l312l Dogberry I leave an arrant knave with your worship, l313l which I beseech your worship to correct yourself, for l314l the example of others. God keep your worship, I wish l315l your worship well. God restore you to health. I humbly l316l give you leave to depart, and if a merry meeting may l317l be wished, God prohibit it. Come, neighbour. (Exeunt Dogberry and Verges) l318l Leonato Until tomorrow morning, lords, farewell. l319l Antonio Farewell, my lords. We look for you tomorrow. l320l Don Pedro We will not fail. Claudio Tonight IÆll mourn with Hero. l321l Leonato (to the Watch) Bring you these fellows on.ùWeÆll talk with Margaret l322l How her acquaintance grew with this lewd fellow. (Exeunt)